something strange
Indeed, there is something not quite normal in my mind. I haven't told anyone yet because I'm worried it'll turn into the boy who cried wolf. But I can't shake the feeling, there is something happening.
For the past couple days now, whenever my mind wanders about like a lost caterpillar through my lawn, whenever I happen to find myself thinking of my ex-boyfriend, it doesn't hurt quite so much anymore. Suddenly, it's as if the term "ex-boyfriend" doesn't seem so wrong anymore. Although I'm not completely certain, I do believe I might be getting over him.
I think this might have happened quite abruptly, actually. I think I came to grips with the fact that I won't see him again for a very long time, and that perhaps that chapter in my life is over. I loved him, that's for sure. However, I think that the feeling may be passing. I am changing, and so are my emotions.
Unfortunetly for me, this probably won't change much. I have this strange tendency to remain single for quite a long time without ever meaning to. I suppose the reason for this is painfully obvious to anyone that has a loose grasp on at least one of the five senses, but for some reason I remain oblivious to it. Maybe I should wear more push-up bras or something, I don't know.
Eh, I guess I'll live. It's just that I'm so worried that one day I'll end up bitter and alone, that I'm already feeling bitter about it. The same feeling when I can't understand a certain math problem for the life of me but everyone else is smiling happily, understanding perfectly while talking about their significant others. Ugh. Maybe I stink and no one's had the guts to tell me. Maybe my voice is annoying. Maybe my skin is rough and no one wants to hold my hand. Maybe I'm just ugly.
Or maybe not. Maybe, just maybe, I'm just wrong in some way that I don't know about. Maybe it's just something I do that makes me undesirable.
That's a lot of maybes. And yet, no answer comes. I should probably start looking into buying some cats and tacky clothing.
Dinner time.
For the past couple days now, whenever my mind wanders about like a lost caterpillar through my lawn, whenever I happen to find myself thinking of my ex-boyfriend, it doesn't hurt quite so much anymore. Suddenly, it's as if the term "ex-boyfriend" doesn't seem so wrong anymore. Although I'm not completely certain, I do believe I might be getting over him.
I think this might have happened quite abruptly, actually. I think I came to grips with the fact that I won't see him again for a very long time, and that perhaps that chapter in my life is over. I loved him, that's for sure. However, I think that the feeling may be passing. I am changing, and so are my emotions.
Unfortunetly for me, this probably won't change much. I have this strange tendency to remain single for quite a long time without ever meaning to. I suppose the reason for this is painfully obvious to anyone that has a loose grasp on at least one of the five senses, but for some reason I remain oblivious to it. Maybe I should wear more push-up bras or something, I don't know.
Eh, I guess I'll live. It's just that I'm so worried that one day I'll end up bitter and alone, that I'm already feeling bitter about it. The same feeling when I can't understand a certain math problem for the life of me but everyone else is smiling happily, understanding perfectly while talking about their significant others. Ugh. Maybe I stink and no one's had the guts to tell me. Maybe my voice is annoying. Maybe my skin is rough and no one wants to hold my hand. Maybe I'm just ugly.
Or maybe not. Maybe, just maybe, I'm just wrong in some way that I don't know about. Maybe it's just something I do that makes me undesirable.
That's a lot of maybes. And yet, no answer comes. I should probably start looking into buying some cats and tacky clothing.
Dinner time.
posted by curli at 7:21 PM
1 Comments:
Arg... you have angst, but angst is a very healthy part of ones developpement. If you ever need someone, call me. I will prepare the candles and the red lightbubles, and we willl have sex!!!!!! YOU are beautiful, and attractive, and you don't smell and have beautiful skin and spirit, and I want you ... NOW!!!
But you were right about one thng. OU defenitly need to buy more push-up bras!!!!
thea
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