New Years Resolutions?

So, not getting into Ryerson has got me thinking.

This past year has gone by ridiculously fast. Speeding bullet on steroids fast. And the way things are looking, this coming year will be more of the same. I will finish cegep and whether or not I get into Ryerson this time around, I'm going to university next fall. Probably in the Toronto/ Greater Toronto area, but considering how topsy-turvy my life usually is, I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

Either way. I need to get into university next September, and I want to get into a wicked awesome program. Therefore, I need a plan of action to get me there. And to keep me occupied doing it.

So this is what I'm going to do:

- Work hard at school and get some wicked great marks. We're talking Miss CRC.

- Try to quit procrastinating (I'm not actually expecting much on this one, but what the hey).

- Write /everything/ down in my agenda. So as to not forget homework and stuff, like I did sometimes last semester.

- And since I'm talking about agendas already, I need to decorate mine better this year.

- Craft more. Way more. Maybe that way I can sell some of my extra goodies. And become the next Tarina Tarantino. :) And I need to get my creativity flowing some more.

- Work on my drawing skills, just because they could be /way/ better.

- Blog/ write in my journal more? Possibly, it makes for an interesting account of my life, even if what's written is mostly angsty.

- Get my university applications in on time. :/

- Visit people in Ontario during Christmas holidays. At least.

Hmm... That's all for now, I guess. I just wanted to get that in writting so it would be more effective in guilting me into actually doing all these things. And I'm a little bored.

I'm going to go now.

Soundtrack to my life (stolen from Facebook)

The Soundtrack of My Life:So, here's how it works:
1. Open your music library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle/Random
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button

YOU CAN’T CHEAT OR SKIP SONGS!

Opening Credits: U2 - All I Want Is You

Waking Up: The Get Up Kids - I'm a Loner Dottie, a Rebel

First Day At School: Moby - Whip It (Heavy Metal Version)

Falling In Love: The Smashing Pumpkins - By Starlight

Breaking Up: Billy Joel - Goodnight Saigon

Prom: Ikara Colt - Here We Go Again

Life's OK: The Smashing Pumpkins - Farewell and Goodnight

Getting the Job: Barenaked Ladies - Off The Hook

Getting Fired: Beatles - Lady Madonna

Breakdown: Pink Martini - U Plavu Zoru

Driving: The Smashing Pumpkins - Where Boys Fear to Tread

Flashback: Pink Martini - Brazil

Getting Back Together: Sleater Kinney - Light Rail Coyote

Wedding: Pierre Lapointe - Plaisirs Dénudés

Sex Scene: The Robber Who Robbed the Town - Intermission (hmm... couldn't have been that great)

Birth of a Child: Bad Astronaut - Disarm

Final Battle: Pink Martini - Una Notte A Napoli

Death Scene: Beatles - Help! (kind of funny, actually)

Funeral Song: Rolling Stones - Angie

Dance Sequence: Marco Calliari - Chitarra Romana

End Credits: Ian Light - The Breakup Waltz (BEST ending credits song ever. point final.)

...Strange how I got so much Pink Martini but no Chili Peppers. Who'd a thunk it?

I know it's been awhile, so sue me.

Hmm. I don't know how I could type the sound I would like to start with. So just make weird noises, I'm sure you'll get it eventually.

I've been hanging out with Thea and friends all week-end, and I've decided that I can't fucking wait until I go to university. I'm serious, I really want to get out of cegep. I'm pretty sure the only thing that I want to stay for is to learn how to play guitar next semester. Other than that I just can't wait. I mean, Marco is being kind of an ass-hole lately, but he's still sort of the only person that I can hang out with most of the time, and I don't want to be totally mean and just blow him off completely, so I end up being a huge hypocrite and hang out with him anyways. Which is a shame, because I think he's becoming more and more of an ass as the days go by. He just thinks so highly of his mind, as if he's this big undiscovered genius. And I hate it when he acts that way, because he really isn't. He's a cegep student, not much better or worse than any other cegep student. He can put ideas together in his head, what a big deal. So can everyone else. I don't know, I used to think he was really nice and a little insecure, but now I'm not so sure. I actually think his attitude might have something to do with him being really insecure, but it's certainly not getting him very far.

I hate the way he looks down on me as if I was just an ignorant little girl. If I tell him not to do something because it offends me or because it's just plain mean, he gives a little laugh as if to say: "You're so cute when you get mad." which obviously doesn't help at all. I use to really like Marco, he was a lot of fun. And now I can hardly stand him, and I think it's really sad.

Okay, so that was a tangent. What I was setting out to say was that I can't wait to get into university because I find that going to cegep so far away just complicates things more than it should, and I just want to have an acceptable comuting time instead of three hours a day. I miss the theatre, and I miss my extra-curriculars. I miss my friends. And now that I've done something very, very general, I'd like to move on to something more specific. I really like that program at Ryerson, it's looking amazing. And I think I really would like to move in with my sister and the Boy. I had so much fun with them during March break, I couldn't believe it. And if only for a semester, I think it would be a really fun experiment to live with them. When I went it felt like family, but in a good way, sort of like a best friend would. I don't think they would act like over-protective hens at all, but they'd be able to show me the city and most of all provide wicked awesome company. I love them.

And while I'm acting spoiled and whiny (I'm allowed to, this is my blog), I also can't wait to get my laptop. In about a year from now I will. The new mac os will be out and probably cheaper than it is now, and since I'm moving out no matter what for university I will definitely need a computer. And as much as I love Archibald, I must admit that he's a little clunky for a small apartment. Not to mention he's not exactly portable. And call me weird, but I really, really despise using the school computers. They're old and slow and I can only use them in rooms filled with people trying to be quiet, so there's a constant shuffling going on that's a little irritating. Plus you always feel rushed in case someone might be waiting to use a computer, and if I'm writting an essay, I need to take breaks every once in a while and just surf aimlessly, it helps me regain my focus. And I always feel bad if I do that at school. Not to mention that if I don't have my usb stick with me I have to save on the school computers and send it to myself through email afterwords, which is another nuissance.

Jesus Murphy, I know some kids are dying of starvation out there. And I recongize that I am lucky to get any sort of computer at all. I guess this is part of Mr. Smith's human condition. We always want the things we can't always have.

I know I'm a loser, but...

I couldn't help but copy and paste it hear. Is it juvenile and rediculous? Most definitely. Does that mean it's not fun? Never. I got this as a junk email and as I am bored I have decided to fill it out and post it here. I guess I've always liked random questions.


most trusted person: myself. Most of the time
favorite high school memory: I can only pick one? That's impossible.
what are you listening to rite now: Joey Cape and Tony Sly! Booyah.
who do you most treasure a relationship: silence
what brand is your phone: the kind the phone company makes. Really, who cares?
what do you not go a day without thinking about: the future
who do you hate: people who are superficial and think they aren't.
color shirt you're wearing: Now it's red and grey pajamas, but earlier it was apple green and electric blue.
desktop pic: two gummy bears pretending to be hitmen.
laptop? not right now.
how old are you? 17
have you ever met a star: yes. it wasn't very special.
which celebrity disgusts you: I don't really care.
sad music when your sad? yeah, I would say so.

have you ever been on a:
blind date: not that I remember.
road trip: fo'sho'. And I hope to go on many more before my life is over.
plane: you betcha.
train: every freaking schoolday.
the side of a highway: uh huh
a cd: no
tv: yes. but that's only because I passed a newscrew filming my college.
in a magazine: no

favorite:
celebrity: I don't really care.
color: every colour is my favorite, it depends on the context.
occasion: Hallowe'en and Christmas
lip gloss: the ones that smell (and taste!) good.
thing to do: stencil, sew, make stuff.
cd: uh... ...
memory: oh come on! just one?
food: pasta, indian beef curry.
song: um... I have no clue. It depends on my mood.
picture: any picture that's inspired and well-taken.
driving song: Radiohead's Kid A, but only at night.

Would you rather ....
work/study: work! I love baking.
save a tree or save an animal: I have to say animal. But the death of either sucks.
music or tv: music. no questions asked.
hot chocolate or coffee: oooh... I'm gonna say coffee.
red or pink: either/or.
wet feet or cold hands: cold hands! I've grown accustomed to my cold hands, I love them.
jewelry or make-up: jewelry, even if I still love makeup.
prom dress or vacation: vacation, as long as it's with my friends.
three people or four: three's a magical number, unless you're the third wheel. So four, because it's safer.
acdc or led zepplin: ac/dc, not because they're better technically, but they're more fun.
marital status: single
go out at night or day: both!
dance or sing: sing.
fancy or casual wedding: casual, but not too too much. It still needs to be special.
jeans or sweats: jeans

rant!

aofudfdhsnfs.

My new friend is annoying. I mean, he's super cool and all, but he's freaking needy as hell! I mean, I needed to make an essay outline in two hours for an english exam, so I went to my locker with him, and he saw someone he knew and stopped to talk. So I just kept on going. Was it the most sensitive thing to do? Probably not. But that shouldn't be important, either. Suffice to say that I had other stuff on my mind? Stressful things that I needed to take care of?

Does this behavior warrant the emo email he sent me today asking whether or not I was angry with him, wanting to know what the truth about our relationship. Don't get me wrong, he's super cool and all. It's just that, well, his insecurities annoy the shit out of me.

I've got insecurities of my own! But with him it's always: "don't worry" "just go with the flow, it's going to be fine." "of course I like you." whereas he always says things like "wouldn't that bother you?" "I don't think I could deal with that." or other random crap of the sort. He questions, I console. He's fun but goddamn, he needs to get a freaking backbone.

Ugh.

I don't feel like typing anymore, so I guess this'll be a short entry.

later days!

Of cabbages and sealing wax

So, Yeah! I love that poem!

This is me with power. That's right, after about thirty or so hours without electricity, I came home from Subway today to discover that everything worked! w00t! Actually, going to Subway was pretty cool. Mom and I got hungry and decided to go because I get a discount there, and as I'm paying Dylan walked in! It was so cool, his dad was gassing up on the way to Magog and he was checking to see if I was working. Which I wasn't, but we saw each other anyway. I thought it was pretty sweet. Mind you, I also ran into Tubbles, which was too bad. Luckily he was on his way out, or I don't know how I would have gotten rid of him. Goodness me, that kid's so annoying.

Speaking of annoying kids, Tall French Guy is coming to my house tomorow to pick up stuff for the retirement party. W00t. If there's anyone I particularly don't want to see at 9:30 in the morning, it's him. Ugh. Luckily, my day should get better afterwards. I've got CEGEP orientation tomorow! And I can register and everything! I'm so excited to start, I really can't wait. Well, I could deal with more summer, but really I don't mind either way. I hope I meet really cool people, because I sure as hell don't want to get stuck all by myself. Not that I ever really have, it's just that at Westwood my group of friends were so awesome. They weren't cliquey, they were all different but everyone got along. And I'm still making new friends from that school! I only ever really had a conversation with Mike Ness until the day we graduated. And he's such a nice guy, too! Only I hadn't really hung out with him before.

So yeah. I'm really worried about losing touch with all my great friends from over here though. I mean, if I was going to Abbott I would see them much more often, but since I'm not... It's a double-edged sword, that's for sure. I've had conversations about this too. I'll be talking to someone and we'll both be like: "We have to promise to call each other next year! Promise!" So I hope that this time around, it'll be different. I figure that since I'm not moving or anything, and neither is the mass majority of my friends either, we won't lose touch that easily. And I figure I could even get the two groups to co-mingle a little. Maybe some of my new friends will want to come down to Hudson and party with us, and maybe some of the friends that I have now will want to come down to Montreal and party it up there, too. I'm sure it'll work out, but this time, I would really like to keep the friends that I already have. And not just for visiting once-in-a-while, either. Which is what happened every other time I moved, except for Shabina. We stayed super close regardless. Well, not really anymore, but that's a long story.

I'm going to miss Thea an awfull lot though, but I know she'll be having tons of fun, I know she will.

In other news, I laughed pretty hard last night. Dylan told Chris all about what he couldn't remember on prom night, and Chris came up to me and apologized. I was pretty suprised, actually, he seemed very sorry indeed. But I told him not to worry, I thought (and still do think) that the whole story was awfully hilarious. Rendered all the more so because he didn't remember a thing. Mind you, I would hate to be in his shoes, I hate not remembering. So yeah.

I do have a confession to make though. I really hope that at the next party, I can get a ride with someone else because really now, I wouldn't mind drinking a little myself. Like, goddamn. I find it so annoying to see everyone getting progressively drunker and I'm just standing there like, "yep. I'm sober." I have a great time anyhow, but it does get a little frustrating when you're the only one that can really walk straight. So hopefully next time someone will provide me with a ride instead of the other way around, and then maybe I'll get drunk too! yay!

...wow, how alcoholic of me. I'm such a bad person. Jesus won't love me anymore. Good thing I don't believe in him then, eh?

...great, now I'm alcoholic and sacreligious. Super.

I think I'm going to go now before this gets any worse.

Later days! (yay, a reference to the Weekenders!)

Prom!

So, prom was last night. And what a night it was! I really want to do it all over again. Everyone looked gorgeous, and afterwards the party was freaking awesome. I had so much fun, and it was so funny... I would like to do that again and again.

But yeah. I decided I would compile a couple guidelines for partying. You know, for my benefit and the benefit of the others around me. But mostly mine. So here are the few I've come up with so far.

Do what feels comfortable
Don't go to a party that you know you won't be comfortable in. Don't agree to do something that you're not sure you want to do. In other words, don't give in to peer pressure.

Wear a t-shirt
I know this one from personal experience. It's not that spaghetti straps aren't cool, but if you happpen to get wildly drunk, you might just end up with your top regurgitating your boobs and being too drunk to notice or to care. Besides, when I'm sloppy and staying up late, I find I'm more comfortable with a t-shirt either way.

Try to remember
Drinking, I admit, can be awfully fun at times. Sometimes it's just funny to be drunk. However, it's better to remember. Because if you can't remember, it probably means that you don't really want to either. Chances are you were making a complete fool out of yourself and you're better off not knowing too much.

Don't use alcohol as your excuse
Whatever you do, try as much as possible to not blame it ont the fact that you were drunk. I mean, if you're stumbling around or something dumb like that it doesn't matter, but I want to hear none of this "I hit so-and-so because I was drunk." or "I fooled around with such-and-such because I got trashed." And I know that this is harder than it seems, because sometimes, you're telling the truth when you're blaming your drunkeness. However, if you've done something, you can't change that fact, so don't always try to justify yourself. I'm sorry, but I don't really give a crap about your justifications. Either you did it or you didn't. This goes hand in hand with the next guideline:

Don't do things you know you'll regret
Unless you're completely out of control, which you shouldn't be, you've still got some judgement left. So use it. If you know you shouldn't be kissing that girl that's not your girlfriend, don't kiss her. You know you'll regret it, so stay away.

Pack a disposable camera
Capture the moment, but dont' kill yourself if you've lost the camera.

So, that's all for now because I'm tired. More to come later!